I recently spoke to one of my amazing clients, who very honestly told me that she was reluctant/dubious to book on my course to start with as she thought it might be a bit fluffy and she wasn’t sure how it could help (I love that she felt she could tell me that).
However, she then went on to tell me how happy she was that she had because it had completely changed the way she looked at things and was making a huge difference to how she felt going through treatment.
I wanted to share what it is I do and how I can help, so those of you who are thinking you need some extra support, but are wary about signing up can know exactly how I help my clients.
To be completely honest I'm not sure I like the word Coach/Life Coach, I think it sounds a bit fluffy and I sometimes cringe when I have to use that description of what I do – mainly because of the connotations people often have about it - I often see people glaze over when I explain I am a life coach.
What I actually do is help people who are going through fertility treatment to feel happier and stronger whist TTC and going through treatment. I help them make changes to aid their fertility and be in the best emotional state to conceive.
I am a fully qualified Personal Development Coach and Youth Coach, with the world's leading coach training provider. It took me 70 hours of coaching sessions, numerous practical assessments, 13 months of home learning supported by 12 teaching days and multiple written assignments to qualify. Finally I completed my 2 diplomas with the top grade of Distinction.
I am also someone who struggled to conceive for 5 really tough years, before having my son through ICSI, after a heart-breaking failed first cycle.
So not only do I have the skills and knowledge to coach you through this really difficult part of your life, but I also have the understanding of the deeply emotional impact of struggling to conceive and going through fertility treatment. I’ve been there and I know how hard it is, I won’t tell you to just relax and I won’t judge you on anything you say – I’m likely to have felt the same thing myself.
As a Coach (and as a person) I am very warm and friendly, but also really organised and logical. I look at practical solutions and creating an action plan to help you move forward with your life, make changes that you are struggling to make on your own, and give you practical ways to manage your anxiety.
I’m not a fluffy/woo woo person, I will definitely be there to give you hug if you need it, but I’ll also get you thinking about what you can do to pull yourself out of the rut we often get stuck in when we’re on this journey.
I will be there to check in on you to keep you motivated in taking action when you’re having a wobble, but also to send you love when you’re feeling rubbish.
The work I do is all about talking through where you are struggling, what you need to do to feel better, helping you create a plan to do that, and then supporting you on the actions you take.
- I’ll help you make a plan – struggling to conceive and starting treatment can be really overwhelming. We may have to lose/gain weight, make lifestyle changes. We may want to change jobs, reduce stress, and make changes to our lives. It can make you feel like you are stuck in a rut and the changes seem too big to make. This can leave you feeling even more depressed and negative. I can help you make a clear and achievable plan to make these changes – taking it a step at a time, day by day making small changes to help you reach your big goal – so that it doesn’t seem so scary.
- I’ll help you stay on track and keep you accountable – we often have all good intentions of making changes, looking after ourselves, not worrying, etc. But sometimes it can all seem too overwhelming to do, or life takes over. I’ll be the little (friendly) voice in your ear, checking in that you’re keeping going, so you don’t get disheartened and lose all motivation - so you make the changes you need and want to make.
- I understand completely – I’ve been there, I get it. You can talk as open and honestly as you want and I won’t think any less of you. I love that my clients feel they can tell me things they haven’t told anyone else in their life – sometimes we need to get it off our chest and out of our heads – to know that its ok.
- I’ll support you through the process - This journey is exhausting and heartbreaking and makes you want to curl up in a ball at times. I’ll be there to help keep you going. I’ll give you a hug and talk to you as a friend, I’ll send you support throughout your treatment and I’ll be there if you need to offload on someone.
- I’ll help you cope as a couple through this tough time - when stress and tension can make you resent each other, and different coping mechanisms can make you think your partner doesn’t care as much. I’ll help you work through it together and take the focus off the all-consuming baby making.
- I’ll get you focusing back on you and what you want from your life. We often forget all the other things we’d like from life when we are so focused on trying for a baby. It’s important to take care of yourself and make time for things that make you happy, so we will definitely be focusing on this.
- I’ll help you manage your worries about treatment and your future. This process is hard enough as it is without our minds working in overdrive, worrying about every little thing – from the signs in our body, to other people’s pregnancy announcements. I will help you work through these worries to work out which are legitimate worries, and which are things that don’t deserve your precious time and energy. We can then create a plan to manage your legitimate ones to get you feeling calmer and less stressed.
- I don’t understand how it can help – hopefully this article has answered that for you, but if you have any particular concerns or questions about your personal situation, please do email me and we can have a chat.
- I can do it by myself – that’s true, you could do, but as I know from my own experience, its really tough to motivate when you are struggling emotionally, and with no one to hold you accountable and keep you on track you are more likely to get disheartened and potentially give up. I will give you the encouragement you need to keep going.
- Its too expensive – I understand that this can be an expensive time if you are paying for treatment, so I offer different levels of support at different price points – from self study courses to one to one programmes, and I also offer payment plans. It’s also worth remembering that if you are in a better state emotionally and physically, your chances of conceiving are improved, which could save you paying for further treatment. It will also make the process so much more bearable.
- I’m not starting treatment yet – Putting a focus on self care, emotional well being and things that make you happy are important all the time, not just when you are about to start treatment. Getting in to good habits before you start treatment is good practice, because by the time you start the intense treatment process you are already working on these things and they will be habit. You will be doing them without thinking about it, which puts you in a much better emotional state for going through treatment.
If you think working with me could really help you, or you would like to find out more, please send me an e-mail at [email protected] or click the link below and I will be more than happy to have a chat to answer your questions.
I also run a free Facebook support group that offers support and advice. If you would like to join please click the below link