Supporting Male Partners in IVF: Why It Matters and What Clinics Can Do

When we think about IVF, the focus naturally leans towards the person undergoing the physical treatment — and understandably so. But it’s important we don’t forget someone else who’s often quietly walking that path too: the male partner.

Too often, men tell me they feel like a spare part in the process — there for moral support, but rarely seen as someone who might be emotionally impacted themselves.

Many describe feeling sidelined during consultations, left out of key discussions, or simply assumed to be “fine” because they’re not the ones having injections, scans or procedures.

But what many people don’t see is that male partners carry their own grief, fears and hopes — often in silence.

What Male Partners Tell Us

In my work and patient feedback, men have shared:

• “No one ever asked how I was feeling.”

• “I was only spoken to when it came time to give a sample.”

• “It felt like her treatment — I was just watching it happen.”

• “I wanted to be strong for my partner, but inside I was struggling too.”

When male partners are overlooked, it doesn’t just affect them — it can impact the overall experience of the couple, leaving them both feeling unsupported and isolated at a time when they need to feel like a team.

Why This Matters

Supporting male partners isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s an essential part of truly patient-centred care.

When men feel seen and included, they’re more likely to engage meaningfully in the process, offer better emotional support to their partner, and feel supported themselves — which improves outcomes for everyone involved.

How Clinics Can Support Male Partners

Here are some simple, powerful ways clinics can help male partners feel more included and supported:

1. Acknowledge Them in Consultations

Make eye contact. Ask how they’re doing. Include them in discussions — even when the focus is on the female partner’s treatment. A simple “How are you coping with all of this?” goes a long way.

2. Use Inclusive Language

Avoid referring only to “the patient” if both partners are present. Using phrases like “How are you both finding the process?” shows that you see them as a unit.

3. Offer Support Resources for Men

Many men don’t feel comfortable asking for help — but if support is offered proactively, they may be more likely to engage. This might include:

• A leaflet or online guide specifically for male partners.

• Signposting to support groups or coaching.

• A reminder that counselling is for both of them, not just one.

4. Create a Space Where It’s OK to Talk

Let men know they’re not expected to be the “strong one” all the time. Fertility struggles affect everyone — and their feelings are just as valid.

Even including a note in your welcome pack or during consultations that acknowledges the emotional impact on both partners can be incredibly powerful.

5. Ask for Feedback

If you're not sure how male partners feel about their experience in your clinic — ask them. Patient feedback surveys should be inclusive of both partners where relevant, and offer space for honest reflection.

IVF is a journey that affects both people in a relationship. When we take time to listen to everyone in the room, we not only improve emotional support — we also build trust, strengthen relationships, and deliver truly holistic care.

Supporting male partners doesn’t mean taking focus away from the person undergoing treatment — it means recognising that emotional pain, stress, and hope don’t only exist on one side of the consultation room.

Let’s make sure every partner feels seen, heard and supported — because they matter too.

If your clinic is looking for training or resources on inclusive, patient-centred care — I’d love to help. Please get in touch if you would like to discuss this further, at [email protected]